Bye Bye Miss American Pie …

So the other day I showed my friend Lauren around London. Didn’t spend much together but it was time worth spending either way. She wanted to go Tower Bridge and go on a boat ride. Of course I didn’t mind so much and the fact that I could do it was pretty cool. Me and Lauren went to meet at Elephant and castle a place close to both of us. Only problem since it has more than one exit, you can kinda get lost. Must of spent 15 minutes trying to find each other. I forgot to tell her what I would be wearing but knew what she was wearing which was all good. Before I went to meet I wanted to make her smile so went into a shop and tried to get a single rose. Problem was the shop keeper wanted me to buy a full packet and I told him clearly this is like asking for a box of cigs when I don’t need it!

When we finally did see each other Lauren was across the street so I looked around and try to find a way to get to her. Instead of taking the short route which was to my right, I took the long ass route to my left. Completely out of her sight but was glad so this way I could now surprise her. I went behind her and put the rose right in front of her and she yelled Oh My Gooooooood! Hee hee it was cool hearing her say that and seeing the big smile on her face.





Back in the day I alwayz promize my Granddad I would alwayz look after him and when he did get ill, I didn’t do a good job of that. Inztead of me staying there and trying to help, I alwayz ran away. When did he pazz away I made a promize to him that I would do everything in my power to try and right my wrongz and I’ll look after the perzon I care about mozt. Az much az I did, I try to look after the woman I loved but in the end, I still wazn’t ready and needed help myzelf. Now that I’m finally better it might be too late for me and her however, I still believe I can turn thingz around. I’m now training to be a care worker and want to help people that I never could before and face the matter.

Everyone I’m azking for your support to help me make a change in my life and to be a great care worker. From now on I’m not going to run away from my problems but will finally stand and face them. Forgive me if I have upset anyone and I hope you all witness the change in me.


Gut feeling …

I’m not one to be shy of my life and I got nothing to hide behind it anymore but sometimes the pain in my soul hurts too much.  Is it because I miss the important people I once had in my life? I dunno but I’m trying to make my life better and get on the mends again. The 1st step doing that is me been a carer and maybe that isn’t the best choice in people’s eyes but in mine it is. I been wanting to do something to help others out in the long run for ages but never knew what or how so me doing this might be the best thing for me.

For now I wanna talk about the dream I had that has made me uneasy of some sort. The rain pouring hard on me like there is no tomorrow and me looking across trying to chase someone. The problem is no matter how hard the rain falls on me I continue to run until I catch up with them. Once I do get up to them, I hold them in my arms and tell them it’s okay to cry now. What makes me confuse is that I don’t see the person face due to their hair covering it and makes me think more who that person is.

Of course not all dreams are meant to make sense and not all are to be taken so lightly but I look at dreams like it’s a sign of things to come. So is this another case of things to come or is it just my mind playing games again and making me over think again? Either way I don’t know.