@_@

As some of you know I do have a claim going on in the background of my life. Now of course this has been going on for over 2 years and is the result of a broken funny bone. This all happened back on September 10th 2010 at approximately 15:47 (3:47) freaky huh? Well this was all caused by a wetness on the floor and me slipping while running for the train. No sign was out of course to say the floor was wet. Today I find out the most stupidest thing ever and that is after two years, Network Rail have said nope it’s not our fault it’s the cleaners.

It took them over that long to say that when we could of been going straight to the cleaners 1st time round?! God help us all … I swear sometimes I just wanna scream my head off and this seems to be one of them days for sure. Will post a bit when I calm down a bit but for right now I just wanna Hulk Smash.

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Judgemental

So I always got told Pepz you’re a nice guy but you’re in the right place at the wrong time. Maybe if you was here X amount of years, months, moments … Whatever. How people come in and out of my life is a choice that I have no control over. What does matter is the impact I leave on your life and that can vary. As my name meaning itself it can change you for the good or for the bad. However I don’t control how you take my advice, I just give it to you straight like a cup of coffee.

So why am I bit uptight then? Well because I think I need to make it clear. that I don’t wish to be held down by stupid things whatever I say on here. None of this should be taken to do any action against me or my friends. With that said I think it was a pretty shameful move that the people who took down my facebook did that. We agreed that once I left I would never mention what happened or whatever we did as a group. I am asking you as a former member to please leave my friends alone and don’t trouble them.

Another thing I want to touch on that annoyed me last week was how I had to let go of my ex at last. I’m fine with helping out and that but seriously don’t abuse it. I can’t always be there for everyone but I do try my best to help out when I can. For this one I didn’t take my phone with me on a day and yet I get text of abuse for it. It’s like you’re not allowed to live a life without taking your mobile with you because it’s now your new set of keys.

Since i’m on a roll on this rant I would also like to touch on another problem that annoyed the hell out of me. If you are sick and you are telling someone that you are dying and know it’s your time, why lie about it? In this case the person who done this to me is someone I wrote about on here.  Now see the thing is she lied to me and I saw her walk down the street one time and we both locked eyes on each other and she knew damn well I was fuming.

I didn’t lash out or cause a scene though, no … It’s not about that anymore. After all these years of training I finally was able to hold it back and not release me going ape shit. And lets face it, it’s wouldn’t of done me any good for my career as a care worker if I couldn’t control it. No my eyes showed my anger and my rage. It was enough for her to scared and worried that she ran and I could see the fear in her eyes. That was good enough for me. Long as that message was sent across I was happy.

Looking back now I don’t even feel anger or pity for you anymore. As far as I know and inside of me you are dead and you can’t hurt me anymore. In my mind I’m walking towards your grave now and laying the flowers down there. Deep down though for the sin you commited … You are sure to be the Naraku no Hana. (A flower in the 7th layer of hell). I don’t know if she will ever see this but if Lizbag ever does … I hope we can be friends again. And for those I hate … This picture is for you :

Shotgun Wedding

 

Today I wanna talk about something different and less depressing about my life. This time I’m going to talk about the wedding of the … Well one wedding I’m glad I never went to! I’m no stranger to some people but you either know me by DisCode or Pepz on the internet. So this was back in the day when I was on a website using my name DisCode and was talking to a lot of people in the chat room.

One of the ladies on there said she was getting married and invited the whole chat room.  I couldn’t believe it but it turns out she really did ask everyone to come by. The lady in question went by the name Mrs Dealer which was the correct name for her in total. Anyway she asked me can I help her find a wheelchair for her because she can’t walk for a long time. I was like okay let’s look on gumtree and ebay. she replied to by saying yeah but I don’t wanna pay for it. I want a free one. I couldn’t find one for her in the end but as the time got nearer for the wedding, I found out I couldn’t make it in the end.

The chat room was bare and hardly anyone was in there and while the wedding was taking place, most of us was wondering what really was going on and how it was going. Turns out it didn’t go as people expected. Mrs Dealer didn’t pay for anything. Things were paid for her and food and drink was brought for her. Presents and cards were given to her with no problems. The wedding however went off okay with no problems and her walking down the aisle.

That’s right walking down the aisle. It seemed that she lied about needing a wheelchair and was hoping someone would buy her one. No one did thankfully, but everyone who was there was in for a bigger surprise.  Once again using her name in the correct way she got up on stage to give a speech. She basically said “I don’t know any of you and I don’t care who any of you are at all. I just wanted the presents and food.” Then to her husband and said “We need to make sure we get you insured don’t we? Accidents do happen.”

Anger is not the word I would use to say what I would be feeling hearing that but it didn’t stop there, a few people saw her opening the presents and if it was something she didn’t like, she throw it to one side and not care about them. Same with the cards, she would open them up and see if there was money inside them and then rip them up. Same with any card that didn’t contain any money inside them. She would soon leave and return to the chat room slagging everyone off saying various rude words about all of us and how we ruined her wedding. She left by saying I’m never coming back here ever again.

Problem is we can never tell if she really did go back on or not because she could use a new username and choose not to show any details.

Beats in my head

As you all know I like to joke about if I ever get injured at all and not take it to serious. And of late I been away in hospital due to me getting my ass handed by a mental patient. I’m not allowed to say where it happen or the person’s name that it happened but it was a crazy experience.

Not sure what triggered it off to be honest but it did hurt me a lot I’ll say that. So all I remember was me hearing screaming and I turned around and see a guy on the floor. Next thing I saw was the guy with heading towards me with eyes that looked spaced out. All I remember was since I don’t have training to calm him down I can’t really touch this guy.

So he came up to me and did a spear on me and feeling the wind taken out of me. I don’t know what he used or hit me with but he knocked me out completely cold. All I remember was me laying in a hospital bed and thinking what the hell happened to me?

I stayed in for a while and thankfully no broken bones or major injuries done to me. I was thinking okay I’ll get back to work soon but instead the agency has turned there back on me in total and want nothing to do with me. Once again I’m out of work looking for it and joining various agencies that will allow me to work again.

Well that’s what happened and expect some unfinished post to come up soon!!!

Speaking my mind

So as some of you may or not know my facebook account was hacked and deleted which made me … A little happy. Maybe we rely on it too much and have to look everyday what so and so said and reply to them. Maybe a post has been said about you and feel the need to fire back. Either way I need less drama in my life and having it gone has kinda help me out. I know who done it and I know why they did it so I would like 1st of all I like to apologize to the people I did upset and that no harm was meant to be done. Now that’s out the way I’m gonna carry on finishing off some stories that I was meant to of posted ages back. Sorry for the wait! ^____^

Remember saga … The final Saga of 2012 …

 

1st of Septemeber to the 31st of December has always been known to me as Remember. It that four month period that either destroys me or brings me back to peace. So why am I calling it the Final saga? Simple it’s the last time I’m ever gonna look at it and feel like it will do one of the two. Next year I’ll be 30 and I want to leave it behind me with all the other pain that has come to me. In other words … I’ve accepted that pain and now moving forward with it but will no longer let it be a burden to me. The one person who truly knew me took the burden and weight with him when he passed. I respect him for keeping it locked and not telling everyone but the problem was I was a loose cannon. I fired shot all over the place and I made it known that I was completely alone.

If falling down was all that I ever knew … Then it time to get up and walk towards the light. Someone told me a story of the girl and the starfish which is a story I never heard before but it made me cry i’ll admit. And I guess I am like her. The story goes …

“lil girl walks along the coast where there’s starfish everywhere….all washed up on the coast and as she walks along she picks them up one by one and tosses them back in the water and someone comes to her and says to her something like “You know that you can’t save them all right?” She replies that she knows…but for that one that she tossed back…she made a difference.

So it’s about the ones you can help you’re not going to save the world, you’re right but if you can shed light where you can and help those that you can, then you have made a differenece.

Hearing it made me feel a little better about myself and might of been what I needed to help me open my eyes on the closing of this saga.  Thanks Ria … You message was clear and now I’ll use it and work towards the goal that I always had set out to do. I can’t be a Servant anymore and be that person who shows no emotion at all. I’m no longer gonna look back and want to be a Carnival member who was on a path of destruction. Nor a SL who dreamed of nothing but death to come and save my soul.

If I do pass away … Play this song