Night before Xmas

 

Of late I been fighting a way to stay busy and not fall back down into deep depression. I’ll admit I wrote a few new songs during this period and now understand a few more things. Such as … Well … Let’s just say I’m learning more about me than I have done before. It’s pretty neat how people find themselves or even go on these far away trips to do the whole soul searching thing. As for me doing that … Well with a very limited budget I can exactly go off to say Singapore and do that. Although it would be nice to go back to there or even a new place in total. End of the day I’m taking each day as I can and what ever comes will come. But I gotta be honest world I still wish that Kat did say to me she was having my baby. But then would that change who we are right now or make things worst? I hardly talk to her and I feel guilty because now the person who helped her out has stopped talking to her. She is pissed off with me about it and I have try to make amends but I guess I didn’t do my best. Like I said I feel guilty because of it and she has every right to be mad at me for it. Even now though … I’m still thinking what if she said to me she was pregnant with my child. Guess it no longer matters and I should just carry on moving forward from here on out. God show me a sign or something again please to make things right again …

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