Nick Session number 4 (Road to Redemption)

I’m going to post while I can before I jet off out of here and speak about the session. I’m pretty whacked out still and got woken up at around 3am when we don’t have to leave till 7am! Pretty pissed with that since we don’t need to pack out bags or anything like that but mum thinks we should be up stupid early. Time is now 4am and already I’m getting asked 101 questions. Anyway less about that and more about the session. So anyway me and Nick sat down and I started off again. I didn’t feel too strained since I was already knew what was going to happen. I started off by telling him how I felt about going to Jamaica and that I feel quite … Confused.Happy I was going but also unsure of what going to happen since we still haven’t made a concrete date. Do you think you could of done something he said? I paused on the question and said no and it may sound unfair but why isn’t the Jamaican side helping out more. All I’m hearing is people coming over but no one has stated when the day will be. It’s annoying because it’s making my feelings conflicting with that so I don’t know what to say or do. Sure I wanna go to these places but when you know why you came in the first place … It’s out of my hands and I’ll carry on playing this game of chess. Annoying as it but from the look of it, the game is about to end in checkmate. The conversation lead on to the conversation about religion where I’m worried I’ll get pushed into going church a lot. I’ll be polite and say I say it’s not my thing but if I get pushed too far then I’ll just state what my religion is. Brings back a time where Dad got pissed off and saying to me all religion celebrate Xmas. When he didn’t like it of me telling him no that is not the case, he went off on one of his childish acts. This is the most annoying thing about him and even more so why I hate talking to him. He brings out the worst in me and him calling me a name I don’t like is even more annoying. The final conversation was about a really horrible flashback I had from when I was younger. One that reappeared from when asked about going to Jamaica ages back. I know the location is in Jamaica and I know the outcome isn’t a nice one either. I’m treating this as a sign of something to happen and I’m going to try avoid it as much as I can. Almost 5am I need to get a shower and head off but I’ll try and update the blog as much as I can if I find a place with Internet or even better WiFi! Till then take care everyone

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