R.I.P. Grandma D

We don’t know what lies around the corner with life and sometimes we feel like we have control on it. Maybe today was a reminder of this when I heard the news of Grandma D passing away. I didn’t get to spend as much time as I did with her which was very little nor will I be able to attend the service given for her. Grandma D … For all I can say … I’m glad we spend time and got to know each other even though it was very little. Rest easy in peace now.


Too many questions not enough answers …

So you maybe wondering why I been using a few Evangelion tracks as some of my opening post. Well to be honest I don’t have a real reason and just picked them. Normally I would use them to set the tone for the story I’m about to speak about. So today I’ll begin it with a serious one instead and speak about what’s bugging me. 5th of April is still a bit away but still one day I still feel unhappy with. For those that didn’t know this the day I lost my daughter and the day I normally switch my phone off and keep to myself mainly. Despite that I’m hoping I will have a design ready and printed well before hand so I can use it on my jacket. Anyway apart from that I saw Jill again today making it number 4 I think now? I forgot her book which I’m pissed off at myself about … Next week I need to make sure I pack it in my bag so I can hand it back. Either way she was telling me about a few places to try for volunteer work which I’m hoping I can get into. Experience in the field will be great also I may find that this is the path I want to go down than somewhere else I’m not too happy with. I guess having a sit down and talking about things make it clearer for where I should be aiming for. As much as I like to be a therapist maybe it doesn’t have to be in the field of working with adults and like she said working with children maybe a better option. Hearing it makes a lot of sense for me because then maybe I can push children into a better tomorrow with the knowledge I have. Also might make me reconnect with me wanting one sometime later in life. Either way it’s worth a shot and definitely one I’m not going to shy away from. The only question now is … Can I get the funding from the Job Center to pay for a new Enhanced CRB or whatever they are calling it now? I still have plans in the background I want to do but I’m not allowed to talk about them but hopefully I will be able to soon. Tomorrow is class for Peer Support so I best get some rest and hopefully be able to sleep this time round. I think I was too excited last week monday and caused me a lack of sleep to happen. I didn’t drop off until about 3am in the morning and I can’t say I helped myself by watching Arrow either. Good show so far and I’m liking the fact how they are using some of Batman’s baddies in the show. I was going to see how Smallville compared but was told stick with Arrow. Time for sleep for now and maybe tomorrow I can post about how the course went.

Pictures of the Triangle

Sorry for not doing it on Monday but the printer was giving me problems! Anyway here is the triangle I was talking about! As you can see it does show a unique and clear way of how we all played this role in life. I guess for me what shocked me the most is how clear it is yet we never really look and think of it. Another triangle shows a different side of again what we role we have all been before. If you do want a link to a copy of the book, I can upload it and give you a link!

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Seeing Jill

Well I said Jill again today and I have to say each time I leave seeing her, I feel a lot better in myself. This time round she proved me with a lot more knowledge than I thought. She lent me a book which about different patterns in life. I’ll try scan one in and upload it later tonight for you to see it but it blow me away how impressive it was! She told me about a couple of websites to try to help get me more to my dream role as a Therapist and also a couple of books to read. In some ways I have a lot to thank her for and honestly without her helping hand in pushing me forward, I don’t think I would get this far! Either way I did wanted to let everyone know if they do have questions or do want to use any of my lyrics, they can reach me by filling out the Contact Form below! Tomorrow is Peer Support course which I can’t wait to do as well! Enjoy the rest of your week!

Lost (Lyrics)


Somewhere deep inside your heart, you can hear me crying out to you.
But as loud as the cries get you always seem to just block it out.

Where are you now? Are you living okay I wondering?
I wish I knew because you meant so much to me.
And I wish that we could of been together now with me by your side.
I know its sound selfish though but I hoped to hear you say
Those precious word to me one more time
That you’re still in love with me.

Is it just a foolish dream? Or can I see it happening?
Even though it hurts me so much to know you’re not with me.
So why am I crying so much? Is it because I lost you once?
But somehow can I … Repair the damage that has been done.
And I swear I’ll wipe away your tears and put the smile back on your face.
I’ll do anything for you to be mine again but will you give me that chance?
I falling to my knees begging you …

I’m calling out your name as loud as I can and hope you turn …
Around to face me …
You turn around with tears in your eyes
And I Run towards you with open arms to wrap around you
I’m hoping I never lose you again …
I’ll never let you go again …
Let’s walk together and not look back

Somewhere in this life we forgot who we truly are.
And I hope and pray that we will look towards each other again
Just like that night when we first kissed under the moonlight
Like we were kids, shy to hold hands,
Wanting to be near each other though
Scared to make the first move
Hoping that we will do it again
Falling in love with you by my side
It’s like a dream that I don’t wanna wake up from

As we close our eyes I’m holding your hand
We lay beside each other with smiles on our face ….





Silent movements

I didn’t realize it but it will soon be the third year of having the blog up which is gone by pretty fast! I’m thinking what to do for the day itself for the blog but nothing yet. It’s till not till next week anyway so still got some time to think about it. Anyway as of right now, I’m feeling a little angry. I been looking to get a job for a while now and it’s getting to the point now of me not getting anywhere. The problem I face is that I can’t do heavy lifting due to the damage on my arm from the accident years back. It seems like every job now requires that skill which in turn is pretty annoying since they won’t hire me. What do I now? Well I’m not going to give up hope that’s for sure! I’m also not going to give up my time for lessons I need to attend to learn on how to be a Therapist. The dumb thing is the lady who is meant to helping me find work, insist on me working in a warehouse which is the dumbest thing I heard. It’s like that saying, if you want a job done best do it yourself. Anyway tomorrow I have to see her and hopefully she will listen and stop putting me in job roles I can’t get. While I’m at it hopefully she will help me in a role that will be best suited for me although it highly doubtful. Still a man can dream … Right? (Nervous laugh) Yeah maybe not! Either way next month will be when I’ll become a Godfather to a new born child, Baby Jack. Although some family did ask me back in Jamaica when will I bring a girl with me, it’s still not the main thing on my list. Hell even getting asked when am I going to be a Dad again was asked a few times but as I stated I can’t do it. Maybe it is selfish but at the end of the day my feelings towards having another child is still a sore thing for me. With that said I really should ask someone about the design done with her name done.