Shake off

Hello world and how are you feeling today? And I’m hoping the song made you wanna get up and dance! So I have a confession to make which is kinda eating me at the moment really bad. As you know Saturday I went out and saw a lady who I’ll call Dynamite who is really cool. So what’s the problem? Well … I really like her but I always have this problem where I tend to fall for someone so easy and get hurt by it all the time. I’m not sure what to do and also for a second link up, I’m thinking how to top it after buying her roses and making her cookies! I mean for real seeing her blush and saying thank you … You know that feeling is just simply priceless and I’m glad I was able to do it! But I guess my main question now is … Is romance dead to you? And if it is how do you bring it back? I think the problem with a lot of people who I spoke to, it’s all a case of been used.

For example the girl in Jamaica who’s name I forgot but we’ll call her Jada. Anyway the problem with her was that she was a frigging user. She knew I was from London but didn’t know where London was or where even China or wherever else I said to her. But on our first date within ten minutes of getting to know me, she was asking for something incredible! And I quote “So you can get me a passport, visa, new mobile phone, tablet, plane ticket to see you. Me wan marry you and have children with you!” Now keep in mind this is the first ten minutes into the conversation of us talking in private. My mind was thinking “Yo B start the car up we leaving this girl behind!” Of course that never and we dropped her back at Black River.

Either that or some women just care more about your man hood or even worst your income. Seriously what does it matter about those things in the long run? I mean if that’s all you care about then I know you’re gonna have an affair with me sooner than later because of that alone! Sigh but either way, I understand the income can be more of a issue since, if you wanna impress a girl you want to be able to buy the meal. I mean how embarrassing would it be if your card got declined when you just had some expensive food! But you want to be at a stage where you can hold your own and know you can treat yourself now and then.

Sometimes it’s hard to find the right one and we gotta go through a lot of bad choices, but when you find that lucky one … You want to make sure that you are there for them. And for me that’s what counts the most. Knowing they will be there for you no matter what you are going through, they will support you. At the end of the day when you look at it, the word friend is there when you call them your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Well that’s my rant for today and I hope you all enjoy the rest of your week the best way you know how! Till next time!

Paper work

I gotta be real everyone, yesterday was so awesome that not even the music can describe it! It was just really good and also I like to say a very big thank you to Miss Fern (Waves at her) for helping me out! Anyway today is Mother’s Day over here in the UK and to be honest I’m always stuck to not knowing what to get mum. So yeah this year I got her something small but hopefully something she will wear! I’m glad me and Dynamite went out yesterday to meet up! Knowing that you can make someone smile is such an amazing feeling that you can’t describe! That’s why I’m pushing hard to be a Peer Supporter because I want to make people smile and feel good again! Only problem is I got a lot of paper work to go through today as in forms to fill out! I been putting them off for a bit too long but it needs to be done now just so I know it’s done and out the way!

Like to just add if you feel the need to read a rant check this blog out : http://pragmaticbrick.com/
And for some real talk? This one : http://successlab.tv/main/

Enjoy the rest of your day!

At ease … A bit

Small update : Had a long talk with some friends of mine after the post yesterday and they made me a bit more at ease. I told them why I just can’t talk to some people despite how close some can be and they understood it. I dunno I guess I feel guilty for not been able to be vocal to some or that what I could say … It just can’t come out at times. Am I happy? A little but not fully. But then life is all about ups and downs and that’s the main thing. I don’t want a perfect life knowing everything is always going to be peaceful 24/7. Nor do I want a life that is full of grieving all the time either. There has to be a balance in life and it’s up to us to find it in ourselves. It could take years to find our true self or to know our strength but when we do, we will become unstoppable. Enjoy the weekend the best way you can!

Forgive and forget

It’s been a mixed week for me. And a few of my friends have said I been kinda silent but I have my reasons. As you know it was the end of the Peer Support course, so now comes the exams I got to do. But apart from that I been keeping silent about my worry for my cousin in Canada. All I know is she has a really bad infection and we are all praying she is going to be okay. Other things in my life are bugging me as well but it’s stuff I have no control over. And I think that’s the main problem is that not having control of your life … Well it’s horrible feeling. Either way I’m looking forward to meeting up with my friend tomorrow and walking around Camden Town. I need to keep my mind focused on something else than what’s going on right now. Anyway peeps enjoy the weekend and let’s hope this year gets better because so far it’s been pretty crap.

Breakaway (Lyrics)

Memories of you
Keep floating back to me
As if we were together again.
Somehow I’m stuck
In this daydream I’m in
And not sure how to breakaway

I don’t want to be the one who’s hurting all the time,
But somehow I can’t bring myself to breakaway from you.

I hate the way my life is
Heading in this way
I hate the way that it’s turned
And wanna break from it.
I know I gotta wake up somehow
But just don’t know how

So I’m changing my life round
I’m changing my life round tonight

Closer you come
And lightening up the room
With a smile across your face.
Deep down I know
You’re not truly there
And just a illusion from my mind.

I don’t want to be the one who’s hurting all the time,
But somehow I can’t bring myself to breakaway from you.

I hate the way my life is
Heading in this way
I hate the way that it’s turned
And wanna break from it.
I know I gotta wake up somehow
But just don’t know how

So I’m changing my life round
I’m changing my life round tonight

I never felt so sure
I know where I belong
I’ll taking control of my life
I’m waking from this nightmare.

I don’t want to look back,
And think what could have been
Because no matter what I do,
I can’t change the past.
I know it’s gonna hurt inside,
But I gotta this still

So I’m saying goodbye now …
I’m saying goodbye now …
I’m saying goodbye …
To you!

08/03/14

pmw_certification

I’m yours (lyrics)

I sometimes wonder
What it was that kept us apart
But now I know that I’m yours;
I feel in my heart
That I’m …
Content.
I always thought that day this would only happen
In my dreams and I kept on praying
That someday it will
Finally come true.

Hook x2

Not a single day goes by
That you don’t cross my mind
Come take my hand and let’s run away
We’re no longer held back by anything.

Not a single day goes by
That you don’t cross my mind
Come take my hand and let’s run away
We’re no longer held back by anything.

Is this heaven when
I look in your eyes?
Or is it when
We’re making love?

Baby girl don’t let me go …
Because I feel like …
I can touch the sky …
When I’m with you

I wish this moment
Would never end at all.
Are you an angel girl?
Take me to heaven now.

Hook x2

Not a single day goes by
That you don’t cross my mind
Come take my hand and let’s run away
We’re no longer held back by anything.

Not a single day goes by
That you don’t cross my mind
Come take my hand and let’s run away
We’re no longer held back by anything.

27/03/14

pmw_certification

In two minds

For the longest time I been wanting to go back to work in the hospital and now I got the chance to. But then why do I feel that it’s not what I want anymore? I just feel unhappy and I’m going to be taking a test to see if I can get in but… To put it in others words, it feels like having an affair. I may fail it and not get it which would be okay I guess. I been training up to be a Peer supporter and I got my essays to do still plus another job form to do that is in line with it. It’s like deep down I know it’s not what I want but for the sake of having money I’m taking it. So I’m asking world what would you do if you was me? Would you take it or leave it?