Positive thinking

I’m in two minds of seeing Jill again due to the fact that I don’t don’t really need her services any longer. When I go see her I find it hard to talk to her about anything now. I’m not in as a bad state of mind like I was when I met her and I think it’s mainly due to being of me going to Jamaica. Apart from that, yesterday I was at the Peer support course again which I enjoy but I have a few problems. One is that when it comes to Monday night I’m so hyped to go that I can’t sleep despite taking a tablet which is meant to make me sleep. I can’t ask for a higher dose due to me already been on the highest already and me taking a two will be dangerous. The other problem I got is someone who is on the course with me who is a little disrespectful. His name is Ben and last week he did something that I found very rude and disrespectful. One of our tutor’s was telling us about her story and how she got to where she is now. It was a really sad story but I also noticed the tears building up in her eyes nearing the end. So what’s the problem then? Well it’s what Ben did which was read the newspaper instead. Having him sitting next to me and him doing made me feel a little angry but I didn’t do anything. Maybe I should of because at the end of the day it’s not easy talking about something like that. Yesterday he annoyed me by being again rude but this time it was a case where we both had to work together. The case study was about a person who is moving home but wants to volunteer work as well. What should they do? His reply was simple don’t f**king do it then. I try to push on with him by saying well maybe we can discuss if they can balance the two by saying they can do a couple of hours a day or saying they can do limited hours due to them moving. He rejected it by saying nope that’s just f**king stupid! Leave it how it is don’t change the answer either. What I find surprising is that he wants to do the exam which is a 3 part thing. One is a 2000 word written essay, the second is a 1500 written word essay and the final one is a ten minutes acting. You either pass or fail no in between and you need to do all three and have to pass them. The good thing is we have six weeks to do all this but I agreed to having a study buddy and continue to work in a group during the time. I’m not going to lie I’m nervous but I was also don’t because anyone can pass it. Another good thing is Derek, another tutor who did the exam also passed it and was given help if needed. This makes me feel a little better a hearing that but I still hope that the person I work with won’t be Ben. Either way the next few weeks will be interesting and hopefully make me feel focus again on passing. Either way I want to do the course again just because of how much fun it is. I forgot to mention that yesterday was also Derek’s last day and I was hoping to give him a signed card at the end of the day but he left first thing. Either way I wish him all the best and glad he helped us on this path! I’m also having a think of doing something for group in a couple of weeks like making cookies while not destroying them! Till next time enjoy your week wherever you are!

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