Brothers in arms

Black suits walk in the room asking me have I heard the news?
Telling me about the passing of a family member who died in the early morning.
I hold my head down without a word wishing they would go away but instead they wanna hear my thoughts of what I wanna do next.
Nothing I can say nor anything I can do but just leave the room. I’m staring straight outside the world around me while wishing it wasn’t true.
You was the person I loved and one that I needed here to see me get so far but now I gotta say goodbye and pray you carry on watching over me.

Wishing you was still with me now
Even though I know you’re gone.
Wishing you was still with me now.
I missing you so much …

Another day another tear drop on my pillow.
Even though everyone say you got to be strong though.
Can’t nobody alive ever tell me that’s the life we gotta live by.
Every now and then I’m still asking why it had to be you
I’m sitting by as they bury you now but I can’t even move a inch to give you this rose that I hold in my hand.
All them nights that we spent together as brothers in arms as you used to call it but I’m now lost alone without my calling.
Who’s got my back when I can’t take no more?

Wishing you was still with me now
Even though I know you’re gone.
Wishing you was still with me now.
I missing you so much …

Every phone call that I get asking how you coping?
I’m always here if you need to talk to someone.
But now its more a case of needing no one
Or so though when I look in the mirror.
Crying out my eyes trying to stay alive is harder than I realised.
That’s when I opened my eyes and I called on my friends …

Wishing you was still with me now
Even though I know you’re gone.
Wishing you was still with me now.
I missing you so much …

Looking out … Out my window …
Feeling like I’m … All alone …
Tell me … Where do … I go …

(Hook x2)
Wishing you was sill with me now
Even though I know you’re gone
Wishing you was still with me now
I missing you so much…

(Written for ?)




Today I been asked to be filmed and speak about my views on mental health with how it effects my day to day life. I agreed to it because as I said before we are pretty silent about things like this or we just don’t speak up about it. I’m glad to be part of something like this and to be honest I do hope it does reach out to people even if it is to a small audience! Hopefully the weather will be okay today because recently it has been pretty random. For example on Saturday I saw a few dark clouds and didn’t anything of it. Soon as I got half way down the road it started to pour down like someone just put a shower on max! Of course it’s cousins Thunder and Lighting wasn’t too far behind either! I don’t mind it to be honest and I do feel really good when it does rain but not stupidly heavy rain! That’s just a bit too much for me because sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe. Either way I’m still busy as hell with the interviews coming in thick and fast! It’s really cool seeing how it is coming in like this and I enjoy it so much more than normal now! I don’t class it as a job but more something really fun like a hobby. When you look at life like that it feels so much better I guess. Even still I do worry about another friend of mine called Chris who recently lost his sister in a car accident. It’s not easy and as I always told him I’m always here if you need me. I should try get in contact with his friend as well who also suffers from depression and see how he copes. Well I better get ready to go and start my day! Enjoy it the best way you can and don’t waste a minute of it!

Loading… Please Wait… E3 2014 Preditcions and Wishlist


E3 is not too far away and already things are heating up with M$ launching a bundle without the Kinect for £349.99! But to be honest it’s still too overpriced for me! Those lucky enough to grab one might remember overclockers was selling the Titanfall bundle for £329.99 brand new a couple of weeks back. Still we could be in for sure surprises from M$ with rumours going about a Halo collection for the X1 featuring a HD version of Halo 1 to 4 but no Reach or ODST will be included. With that said I decided maybe now is the best time to make up a wishlist or what I would like to see at E3. Let’s get the consoles out the way first and move on to developers afterwards.

Microsoft: Sure Halo can end the show again with a new Halo 5 trailer, but how about bringing back something fresh? Maybe a new IP in the works? Or even still bring back some classics. I would love to see Rare bring back something that isn’t about the Kinect! How about bring back Blast Crops or even more, Jet Force Gemini. Okay let’s go even way more back, Battletoads! I’m hoping they show games such Forza Horizon 2 and more on Quantum Break. Hopefully this time round they will make it more about the games than making it into a multimedia centre which a lot of us are against. With Gears of War now in their hands, can we see a CGI video of what they will be doing with the franchise?

Sony: Last year Sony hit back at E3 and made everyone chant their name! Hell I gotta admit I was with them 100% of the way and it was basically an TKO on everything Microsoft said. This year, I’m hoping to see more indie support like they showed last year and more new games. Sure it’s great to have The Last of us Remastered coming to PS4 and other titles but we need something more. I’m expecting to see more sequels such as a new Unchanted, Gran Turismo and hopefully more on The Order: 1886. Handheld wise I’m hoping we finally do get to hear about Bioshock appearing on the Vita. More titles with the cross play feature is also something I like to see more of. The Vita is a powerful handheld but we could do with more title that really shows it power!

Nintendo: Mario Kart is nearly here so we know we don’t have to worry about that no more, but DLC with more tracks and characters would be nice. We also know Smash Bros 4 for Wii U and 3DS is going to be ones that will be shown but how about something else? Nintendo has been silent about the new Zelda title but maybe a new video could change all that? Also more titles that use the Wii U pad. Also more on the mysterious title called X so far. Handheld wise, maybe we can expect a new version of the 2DS but this time the 2DS XL where… Wait for it… You can close it! What about his new thing that looks like Skylanders and Disney’s Infinity with the figures? Could this work hand in hand with Smash Bros with the trophies system? Who knows.

??? A new challenger?: We seen the Amazon Fire device which we all thought was going to be a console but could we also see someone else step up to the plate? Google might come out and shock us all by bringing out such a thing like a more powerful version of the Ouya. Even still we never can tell but let’s see what happens.

Now for the developers/publishers

EA: I’m hoping they show more on the new Mirror’s Edge! This and the new Star Wars Battlefront would be awesome! What we can expect is another round of yearly sports titles and (I wish they didn’t) Battlefield 5. What I would like more of is fresh IP’s or bring the magic back to some of the stuff they have. A new Bad Company would, Dead Space (which will stay scary), Burnout (going back to it’s roots) and also a new Dante Inferno. We already know that this year we won’t be having a new Need For Speed which is quite a shock since it has been coming every year for the last … Ten years now? Let’s hope we see some good changes this time round. I’m hoping we see Mass Effect 4 even if it is in video form.

Square Enix: Let’s get the two big ones out the way, Final Fantasy 15 and Kingdom Hearts 3. Those are the main ones we know will most likely be shown at E3. But I would like to see a new Deus Ex and Tomb Raider. Again it’s fine having a Remastered edition of Tomb Raider 3rd reboot come on the next gen, but we need fresh titles as well! As much as fans cry for a FF7 remake I still very much doubt it will happen. Sleeping Dogs 2, Just Cause 3, New Hitman, new Legacy of Kain game. S-E have a huge library of games and I’m hoping they bring some of those classics back to the table.

Bandai Namco: We can expect new anime games such as Dragon Ball, One Piece and Naruto to appear but what about Tekken X Street Fighter? Has it been axed? Will it show this year? We also have the new Free to play Soul Calibur game on PS3 along side the Tekken game, but how about a real sequel to both of them? Ridge Racer going back to it’s roots as well instead of trying to be a Burnout clone. Pac Man might make an appearance with the new TV show out at the moment but I’m hoping we don’t have another Pac Man collection coming out. I’m hoping to see more on The Withcher 3 and the new Tales games.

UBIsoft: Far Cry 4, Assassin Creed 5 will be titles we know of but how about Beyond Good and Evil 2? Does this not deserve to get shown? We can expect to see more on The Division and hopefully more from the Tom Clancy’s range with another Splinter Cell, Rainbow 6 and Ghost Recon. Another Rayman would be good to see too. Expect to see another Just Dance.

Capcom: If the rumours point out to be true that Resident Evil 7 will be an XB1 exclusive, would you care? Nope would I! With Ultra Street Fighter 4 coming out very soon, I would still like to have the HD versions of Capcom vs SNK come to XBLA/PSN. As I said in a rant before, I would love to see a new Dino Crisis finally happen. Although I can see Dead Rising 4 been announced to come to both PS4 and XB1.

The rest: Call of Duty Advanced Warfare, More information on The Evil Within, New Elder Scrolls, Fallout 4, More information on Batman Arkham Knight, More Lego games, Doom 4, new Dead Island, Sonic Boom and hopefully HD versions of Shenmue, More information on Alien Isolation to name but a few.

Well that’s all I can think of right now but what do you hope to see happen at E3? Do you think we will see a new price drop on anything?

The power of knowledge

It’s crazy because a week ago I was in Costa coffee and this guy that was working there was full of energy. I ordered a coffee with a sandwich which he convinced me to have it hot and I was like go on then! True enough the sandwich tasted better hot but what struck me so much was how he was. We didn’t know each other but yet we had this bond of good will towards each other and it got me thinking. Why is it that we don’t see more people like this in work places? Even outside of work where you can just simply walk down the street, the expression on most people’s face is that of a stressed out person. Fair enough we all have problems and again this could go back to the fact of all us wearing a mask on our face. Let me explain it a bit more clearly about the mask thing. I basically view people wearing mask on their faces to hide away the pain in them or just to protect themselves from been hurt again. However this one guy proved to me that I’m not the only person who can make people feel relaxed.

It was an interesting conversation when he spoke about depression because he said 70% of us in the UK are on this which is incredible! But yet when I said I can relate to it due to me being on them, he seemed pretty shocked. But then a lot of people seemed very shocked when I do say I do suffer from depression. Its a sad case that we hide who we our to the world because we are either scared of been bullied or just the fact that saying that you are suffering from mental health issues is simply taboo. So what’s my point? I guess it’s this … Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Or more to the point, don’t hide it. I’m 31 years old and even at times I still find some days can be hard. Some days I have a little cry now and then, but I’m not ashamed it nor of who I am. Embrace each moment and hold your head high, because who we are … Is special.

Loading… Please wait … Next gen


Wait what? Loading… Please wait? But Pepz you not done one since last year, why now? Because I’m pissed off with the same old argument been used! So we are now coming close to the 2nd year of the next gen consoles at E3 but what has it showed you? Has it made you think that’s it definitely next gen? To me no it hasn’t! All it’s showed me is the same thing the 360 and PS3 can do but just make it more shiny! I gotta say it’s not been a good start for Microsoft with them having to do a complete 180 on everything they said. But even now it’s become a case where they again listened to the public and said yes we will do a XB1 without the Kinect. It’s not been a good time for them and I do feel bad for them having to go through all of this just to get fan support. True the PS4 is still outselling it but when XB1 finally gets to launch in the other countries, will sales change? Who knows. But that’s not my point right now, my point is this. Why is it still a case that generation STILL can’t get games to run 1080p at 60FPS? It’s become such a massive thing between fanboys that even when games go multi platform, they already saying PS4 will run at 1080p. But recently it was announced that Watch_Dogs won’t be running 1080p this time round on either PS4 or XB1. Instead it’s 900p PS4 and XB1 having it run at 792p but here’s the kicker that really does rub it in, the post from Alienware from their Facebook account.

Of course this is gonna lead into more heated discussion with a lot more people. Some PC gamers will always go on to say that it’s the superior race and consoles are for children. Unfortunately I don’t tend to agree with that statement because at the end of the day, I can’t afford to upgrading my PC every month with new graphics card and whatever else! For me the PC sure can run games on it but I use it more for using my blogs, writing my book now and then or to watch some shows. But in total I don’t really use it for gaming at all and I never really have looked at it for that. Truth be told I disappointed in the whole next gen consoles that have come out because, it’s back to the point of running things at 1080p without trouble. It’s going to be one of those topics that will carry on throughout the consoles life. You know as well as I do, that every time a new game studio says about the specs, people are going to go on about what the frame rate will be. It’s not going to die down and it will be a factor for some people. I gotta admit though, looking at them side by side you won’t notice the difference but to some people it’s the fact of the other one running at full power. Each console has their own strengths and weakness, same as the PC does. Whichever way we look at it, people are going to keep go with whatever one they feel happy with. So why haven’t I got any of these next gen consoles yet? Well to be honest, nothing interest me out of either of them and that includes the Wii U.

Sure Mario Kart 8 looks good but I’m not going to be throwing down money for a new console for one game. It don’t make no sense to me and I rather know I’ll have an handful of games I can pick and play. As I said before, I’m happy with my 360 and with the amount of games I got, I’m in no rush to buy anything new. Although that new Aliens game does look good but again I’m gonna wait a bit and see what it’s like. I already been burnt by that last one which was piss poor! Still I can’t deny there are some games that do look good and it’s make me even more happier knowing I don’t have to folk out money for a new console to play them! Maybe at E3 everyone will show their big guns and it could change my mind but to be honest it’s highly doubtful right now. Until next time!

Busy week!

Hey guys sorry I didn’t do a rant this Monday but I been extremely busy with everything! My personal life is going good which I’m happy about and hopefully next month will be when I start training for Samaritans. I’m also waiting on the phone call from the hospital to start work whenever that is! I don’t mind waiting but you know I like to do start real soon to get the money coming into my account! So what has been happening? Apart having interviews everyday this week so far with amazing talents, I been dealing with my Peer Support assignments which has now been sent off and waiting to be marked. Apart from that I’m arranging to spend more time with a few friends and just see how they are. I gotta say today I went out for a walk around the park and took some shots while the sun was setting… I love it! Sunrise or sunset either one, I just love them! I’m pretty tired now so going to be heading to bed real soon but yeah more interviews coming up on FineTuning347 and this week will be four interviews in total! Enjoy the rest of your week and hope you enjoy the interviews!