Wednesday the one thing I feared the most happened. I had a massive panic attack in the middle of public. What happened? Well it’s a number of reason really of what caused this. The main one is lack of antidepressant tablets which control my anxiety/panic attacks and also help me get to sleep. Only real problem is that because I’m lactose intolerant and since the one’s I take contain it, it’s been a nightmare on my health. The other thing is because of how unsafe I felt in the area I was in. The height counts towards this but the truth is, I took one look down and I almost felt like passing out right there and then. I had to fight myself to stay calm and walk down the stairs slowly which was the only option I truly had. Soon as I left, I ran out of the place and waited for a bus. Sure I had a travel-card that would allow me on the tube and trains, but the bus was a lot better for me. I didn’t reach home until at least 10pm considering I left the place at 7pm. So what’s the next step now? Well it’s to find some antidepressant that won’t make my skin become red and blotchy. Might be hard but I need to get through this. I can’t give up like this and I don’t want to feel like that again.