All posts by Pepz347

3.47 runs two blogs, Ranting347 and Fine Tuning347! Ranting347 is my own personal blog while Fine Tuning347 has interviews with the hottest new and up coming artist from around the world while also doing the same with YouTube channels! Stick around and enjoy the ride!

Back again

Dear world I disappeared without much warning but I needed that break. I needed to get away from the few things that were getting to me. I took on too much and ending up doing more damage to myself than realised. I only have myself to blame for it but now I understand myself a bit better. So what have I been up to? Well… Quite a bit really. I’ll start with the good news, I have a partner now and I’m happy as can be! It’s been a long time coming and its true, good things do come to those who wait. We have been together since the end of November and things have been going well. I have been in and out of work again but I think it’s for the better. Sometimes you gotta go through each one and find what it is you feel happy doing. But when it comes to those moments where you wake up and you feel angry yet you have no idea why… Leave the job. All I can do is hope I’m accepted into my dream job next month and can start it. I have been begging to be a peer support worker and now the chance for a paid one is here, I’m taking it. I know it may not be easy but I have to do this. It’s been what I wanted to do for so long! Apart from that… Well I have been writing new lyrics here and there. Not many but just whatever I felt. But what about my other blog? Am I gonna go back to it? Maybe. I just feel so drained from doing it that I don’t want to rush back in. I honestly thought it would be easy but then it turns into a strain and you just feel like it is another job. That’s one of the main reasons why I stopped. If it is something you enjoy and do for fun then don’t let it take over your life. For me that is definitely not something I want to do right now. If I can get a helping hand then that’s okay. While my health is still not great I’ll be taking it easy for now on but I’m hoping you are all okay and doing well!

Love Anton

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Closed eyes (lyrics)

I am living in a dream,
Where I’m wasting all my life,
Praying and hoping for,
The miracle to appear.
And if God is watching over,
Then I hope he understands,
That I’ll do my best,
To live this as best as I can.

Don’t leave me now,
I might look strong,
But that doesn’t mean,
That I am deep down.
Don’t walk away.
I know I’m intense,
And I’m trying my best,
To change that.

This life we live,
I can’t deny,
That I will find,
Peace someday.
Don’t cry no more…
I wish that I,
Could turn back the hands of time,
And make it all right.

30/8/14

pmw_certification

From Beyond (Deirdre song) (Lyrics)

Every day, every night,
The voices get louder each time.
They tell me that I don’t belong.
That I don’t deserve this life anymore…
Let me rest at last.

Every day I wish that you,
Could hold me still and let me know,
Things will be okay at last,
Hoping that it won’t just end the way,
They want it to happen.

Yeah I wish to say goodbye now with no regrets,
But the people who love me will worry sick.
I can’t allow for you to break my spirit.
I’m praying…
Someone help me,
Let me out of hell…

This lifetime,
With no end to this madness,
Crying myself to sleep,
Wishing you could heal me now,
Or make them leave.
Why won’t you help me out?!

29/8/14
pmw_certification

Mistrust (lyrics)

Looking high and low around the place
Searching for the answer that hides in your heart
Turning away from the illusion in front of you
But even still you can’t see me …

Wishing to be free
From all the pain
Around you …
But no matter where you turn,
It’s always there,
Following you.

Even though you try to hide it all away but you can’t hide the cracks in your smile.
Tell me what is it that you so scared to speak of? You know I’ll help you out!
Don’t cry any more.

Listening too many lies around you now
Finding it hard to believing in yourself
Don’t look away from the people who want to look after you.
All the hate they have for both of us,
Could never break the strong bond,
Created from the love that we have for each other.
Let them try and break it but they will always end up failing.

Those sleepless nights where you would cry your eyes out
Thinking that, you don’t deserve
Even though I wish, I could be there for you all the time
But I can’t.

Still you cut yourself away from everyone including me and your family.
Tell me what good did it really do when all we wanted was for you to get better.
Let your tears out.

Listening too many lies around you now
Finding it hard to believing in yourself
Don’t look away from the people who want to look after you.
All the hate they have for both of us,
Could never break the strong bond
Created from the love that we have for each other.
Let them try and break it but they will always end up failing.

Where did you go now hunni?
When my nights are so cold and lonely?
When I need you so right now?
Can’t nobody replace you even now
You were I gave my heart and soul to.
So don’t even think that you’re alone.

No matter where we both are,
My heart is yours…

Crying out your name in the dark,
Waiting for the moment for you come turning back
Looking at me directly and tell me it will be okay…
Nothing can stop us now when I got you by my side
Let the haters come and try tearing us apart
But we will look at them and laugh in their faces…

Don’t let go, together we can take on the demons that want us down.

In this world of pure hatred,
Can’t anybody take the love we have for each other.
Tell them we can take them all on and we won’t be defeated so easily.

11/08/14
pmw_certification

Closed eyes (Lyrics)

I am living in a dream,
Where I’m wasting all my life,
Praying and hoping,
For the miracle to appear.
And if God is watching over,
Then I hope he understands,
That I’ll do my best,
To live this as best as I can.

Don’t leave me now,
I might look strong,
But that doesn’t mean that I am deep down.

Don’t walk away.
I know I’m intense,
And I’m trying my best,
To change that.

This life we live,
I can’t deny that
I will find peace someday.

Don’t cry no more…
I wish that I could
Turn back the hands of time
And make it all right.

30/8/14
pmw_certification

Hoping (Lyrics)

Can’t stop thinking about you even if I wanted to.
Days I dream about you being by your side,
My mind filled with just me and you.
I wish they were real.

I pray to God that someday it will happen
Despite all the odds I face.
The distance between me and you
Is more than heartbreaking.

Tell me what I should do now?
When I can’t be by your side.
Tell me when I can hold you again?
And wipe away those that you cry.

Nowhere near
Nowhere far
But I want to close the gap between us now.

Tell me what I should do now?
When I can’t be by your side.

Tell me what I should do now?
Tell me when I can hold you again?

The times when we’re together
I feel like it’s endless
And don’t wish for it to go.

I wanna stay with you
And be able to look in your eyes
While I’m hold you in my arms.

Nowhere near,
Nowhere far,
But I want to close the gap between us now.

Tell me what I should do now?
When I can’t be by your side.

My hearts crying out your name.
But I wish I could be yours.
So give me that chance to be … Yours

02/08/14

pmw_certification

Praying for the pain to stop

I honestly am asking for help because I really can’t do this any more. I’m very low and although I put a happy smiling face for people I can’t keep hiding behind the fact that I want to be free from the pain. I’ve once again self harm myself and once again feeling alone because I don’t know how to cope or deal with things. I’m literally unhappy with myself and everything about me but I don’t want suicide to be the main thing to end me. I can’t because if I do then I’m just gonna make myself more unhappy and what’s more I need to focus on how to improve. What happened was my fault no doubt and I can’t deny I’m heading off in the worst direction. I’m sorry to upset people and I’m even more sorry for the people I made cry and hate me. I never did want that but then I guess that’s my problem, I will always hurt people who are too close to me. The hedgehog’s dilemma is basically the only way I can say it. Once you know what that means, you understand why I did it.